“It’s ok to look back, just don’t STAY back!”

The old saying has always been, “Keep looking forward”, or “Don’t look back”.  If you think about all of the action movies you’ve ever seen they always tell the person, keep running, don’t look back. And it seems like when the person looks back they either fall or get off track. Shoot we can use Lot’s wife to perfectly exemplify the whole, “Don’t look back” analogy. She looked back and instantly turned into a pillar of salt.  So she pretty much makes it harder for me to explain why you should look back lol

Now of course I strive to encourage you to keep moving in the right direction, forward that is; however, I personally believe that in order for us to be effective in where we’re going, we have to look back, the catch is, we just can’t stay back. 

Take a moment and think about this…how can you speak life into someone’s situation if you don’t take a moment to look back to the place that God delivered you from? That mercy he showed you and that grace that he allowed you is your fuel to pour into the next person. We never want to forget where we came from, so every now and then it’s ok to look back at what we’ve been through. It in turn helps us to appreciate where we are. I know me personally, I can’t possibly minister to a woman standing before me in the state of homelessness, or in a state of loneliness unless I take a glimpse back into my past life from when I myself was homeless. Or when I was in that state of loneliness. Those moments when I was left depending solely on God’s love alone in the middle of a cold night. I have to look back at how God kept me and brought me through that time of darkness in order to be a positive encouragement to someone that is currently experiencing that in which I’ve been through.

I truly believe that God directs people to us according to what we’ve been through in our lives and he holds us accountable to lead them out of what they are going through by sharing our testimony. And not just sharing our testimony, but being transparent with them enough to show that God’s love and grace is sufficient for us all!

So here are a few solid reasons why you should look back and not stay back:

1. You never want to forget where you came from. It’s from this place that you birthed your now.
2. Your testimony is your story! It’s those bittersweet memories that make up your powerful story; you have to look back in order to grab the pieces that make the complete puzzle of you!
3. In order to help someone else you have to be real with yourself! Being transparent and showing someone else that you’ve been through the same thing helps them to see a brighter future.

Now remember, looking back and staying back are two different things! Keep moving forward, just don’t forget where you came from! -BiancaLynnette

 

No worries…your gift will make way for you!

Have you ever tried to force something to happen? Or maybe you switched up your whole style of doing things thinking you’re doing the right thing but it ends up feeling like the wrong thing? lol Well, I know I have!  Sometimes we try to do God’s job and we find ourselves going right back to him for guidance because reality proves that we’re just not that good at it!

That’s where one of the most simplistic yet powerful scriptures comes into play, that would be Proverbs 18:16 “A man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before the great”. I mean duh!! God already knew that we as flesh would get ahead of ourselves and try to do it all on our own. He knows us so well that he already predestined a pathway for our gifts!  How awesome is that!  He’s pretty much telling you to trust him, stay in your word and trust that no matter what it may seem like, eventually your gifts (given by God of course) will and I mean will make way for you in this congested World.

Always keep God at the head of whatever it is that you’re doing and never forget your WHY. If it’s in Gods will to be done it will be just that and you will excel in your purpose!

Now go! What are you waiting for? Go out and be AWESOME!!

 

 

 

“Don’t stay STUCK in your valley…” Quick Thoughts

So I was just thinking about some people that I know that are going through some things and I’m like man, how can I get them to think beyond the valley point?  I mean I know it’s so much easier to stay stuck in your valley and bury yourself in your mess but why?  So I’m thinking, well I have to come up with something pretty good to get them to see and understand why it’s so important to pick up your crap and move on in a positive way…and then it hit me!  The longer you stay stuck in your valley, the longer someone else has to wait for their blessing!

Think about it, God designed it so that we would repent for our sins, learn from our mistakes, grow and teach. It’s like a marathon race, each person that goes through a valley must come out in order for the next person to learn and gain knowledge while they are in there’s. No one wants to go through the valley but I do believe that if we keep our focus on God and the positive light at the end, it will help us to get through better. Just know that when you come out, because you will, not only will you be able to help someone or prepare someone for their valley, but you will be stronger, wiser and tougher!  It’s all on your mental approach.

So this is why it’s so important that you don’t find comfort in your valley; just think of all the other people that are in need of your conqueror testimony! -BiancaLynnette

“Accept Your Truth!! There are riches buried in your junk!”

Did you know that there are riches buried in what you consider your pile of “junk”?  One of the main reasons we as humans are unable to be effective disciples for the Kingdom is because we are struggling with accepting the truth…our truth! We are brought out of our trials and tribulations by the grace and mercy of God for his glory, yet we are still mentally trapped in our mistakes and mishaps. So entangled in our sins that we are unable to be effective disciples.

The World teaches us to shun and be shameful of what we’ve been through. Granted we shouldn’t gloat on our faults, we in turn should not be ashamed of our journey. I guarantee you there is someone out in this World that is struggling with the same addiction, same guilt and the same sin as the one that you’ve so graciously been delivered from, and they’re in need of your help!

Here are a few steps to consider when making the decision to Accept Your Truth… and remember, tomorrow isn’t promised, don’t miss an opportunity to tell your story for his glory!

1. Accept your truth. Accept whatever the sin was within yourself. Forgive yourself, as God has already forgiven you.
2. Understand that in order to have a testimony you must have a test. Learn from your mistakes and make notes on how you are and will do better moving forward.
3. Allow yourself time to heal. Seek out help if need be and take time away to allow your wounds to heal.
4. Share your story. Allow yourself to be transparent, but remember, you can only do this AFTER you have allowed yourself to heal.
5. Walk in your authority!! Don’t carry your story on your back as a burden, but tell your story with the hopes of it changing lives. Remember, the main objective is for us all to experience Kingdom living here on Earth. Help others to come to a place of self-forgiveness and through that they will receive their blessing.

I hope this blog helps someone today to accept their truth and live on purpose!! -BiancaLynnette

“Love is…or is it?” (Self-Love is Real Love)

“I keep on failing, in and out, of love with you…” Ahhh that was such a strong song for us Women who could relate; but in a sense such an irony. The beautiful harmony of bitter-sweet love! But what really is being in love? Only you can answer that.

I was just sitting here thinking of why we debate and wrestle endless fights about this whole love thing, only to simply win the battle…not the war. Is it because we haven’t quite quenched our thirst enough to even know what love is or where it starts? We run out here with our hearts on our sleeves looking for someone to mend what only God can mend. Loving and giving unconditionally without filling ourselves with our own love first.

That was me; woe is me, love me, fill me, complete me…Ha! From lack I ended up allowing some of those that really loved me to pass me because I hadn’t discovered what self-love was to even know when I was experiencing real love. Premature bliss…

I agree with the philosophy of the iconic singer/actress Eartha Kitt, she said “Fall in love with yourself first, then you allow someone to share it with you.”

Are you preparing your child for success?

It’s that time of the year again, BACK TO SCHOOL TIME!!! All of my fellow parents I’m sure you’re able to relate to the joy this time of year brings! We’ve had a whole summer with our wonderful children, school shopping is done and we know for sure where our children will be for at least 7-8 hours of the day (unless you still have a wonderful half a day student). Needless to say your little one is all ready to go and you are ready to regain that peace of mind that seemed to have been caught up in the twirl of summer.

My question to you is, are you preparing your child for success? This is a question my husband and I had to ask ourselves this year. We literally had to sit down and ask ourselves how we can be better prepared for not only the school year, but for the success of our children this school year. So we tried a new method. This year we went on dates with each child and asked them key questions such as, “What were your likes and dislikes about school last year? What are some things or some tools that you feel would have made last year differently or better? What do you feel you need this year material wise to help you to function better? What are some things you need from us and or your siblings to help you at home to be more successful in school this year? Considering we have 4 school age children, the answers varied of course, but were very intriguing.

Here are some of their request; to have their own personal alarm clock, to have weekly family meetings to discuss progress and areas of improvement, to have educational books at home to work on in their spare time so that they will be ahead of the class and to have family reading once a week. Now these things may not be needs for your family so you of course would have to have one on one time with your little ones, but for our family it’s definitely starting us off on the right track.

We have to be mindful that our children are our future and what we invest in them will project to the whole world in the future. We have to be life changers and by doing so we have to start with them! -BiancaLynnette

“When it all falls down…Beating Yourself Up vs. Building Yourself Up!”

I don’t know about you but I can honestly admit that I’m my worse critic.  I do a pretty good job at beating myself up but there came a time when I had to learn the difference between beating myself up and building myself up.  Yes, we should be aware of our faults and failures, but how we handle them and interpret them could make or break our mental state.

See, the difference between the two is this; when you’re beating yourself up it leaves bruises, and the bruises then turn into wounds also known as “insecurities“. We start to look at ourselves as if we will never be good or we begin to dwell on the “temporary flaw” and label that as our overall failure.

#BuildYourselfUp

Now with building yourself up you recognize where you went wrong, think about ways you can do it better the next time and then you go into the building stage by encouraging yourself to get back out there and try again. Building yourself up is all a part of character building. You’re helping to build a strong character so that you are able to mentally receive constructive criticism without taking it as an offense. On the other hand with beating yourself up, you’re not as receiving when your peers approach you with constructive criticism. Instead you mentally tell yourself that you knew you couldn’t do it from the start; you take what they said as confirmation of your failure versus fuel for your future.

So here are a few helpful tips to keep you building yourself up vs. beating yourself up:

1. Recognize where you went wrong or your faults.
2. Think of how you could have done it and write it down so that it’s visible.
3. Write out a few ways in which you can do it better.
4. Literally tell yourself that you can achieve whatever you put your mind to and remind yourself verbally that this is only building your character.
5. Execute without holding onto past results. Don’t even consider the failure, execute as if it’s your first time!!

Now get tha building!! -BiancaLynnette

I Got You, but Who Got Me?? #MomLyfe

Ok, so as many of you know I’m a Mother of 5 and if you don’t know now you know lol Well that takes a lot I will say first hand. In this world we live in today you want your children to know who they are as individuals, to have goals and to actually achieve them; but society makes that so very hard.  I sat over the weekend watching them play, each individual mind going and so much personality in each one of them and I’m like Lord God, how do I pour into them when I’m struggling to pour into myself?

This morning God spoke to me through message and that message was, “How can you give them something that you don’t have?” Ha! It’s like I get so caught up in doing, running and giving that I forget that I have to be replenished in order to give to them. Being replenished isn’t something that just happens from sitting still. I have to constantly be in touch with my personal needs as well as being aware of my wellness holistically.

I can’t possibly give my children what I don’t have stored up to give. So here are a few things that I will begin practicing to get my wellbeing intact for their sake!

1)  Morning meditation (prayer/saying my I Am’s and mentally setting my day of happiness)

2) Exercise

3) Keeping up with doctor’s visits and exams (Both medical and dental)

4) Making to do list and not to do list (And actually checking them off as I accomplish each one)

5) Reminding myself of my purpose and being purposeful in everything I do

*Remember, you have to be good in order for them to be good! And that’s the #MomLyfe #LyfechatBlog

“Next Thought for $300 Alex!”

Hey Hey Beautiful People!!

The mind is such a wonderful thing, but I’m sure you all know that the mind can play tricks on us from time to time sending us into overload when all that ain’t even necessary!  It’s so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind in which our mind sends us and we totally forget that we have a choice…We do NOT have to accept that current thought!

I hear people say so many times how they woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and don’t get it twisted, I’ve used that broken cliché a few times myself. Those dreadful morning when you just don’t feel like doing anything at all and it seems that the Universe is very aware of it! You know those days when nothing seems to be going right and you can’t find anything to wear and your dog ate your homework and your significant other ain’t acting right and OMG let’s not forget all of the traffic that is now in your way because they had no idea that you would be running late and nooww they have the nerve to be driving slow!

HALT!!

You don’t have to accept that thought! We have the power to CHOOSE POSITIVE THINKING in the midst of a negative thought.  Trust me I know it’s not easy when you are in the middle of that thought because that thought can be very convincing; but you have the authority to pass that very thought up and decide to redirect your focus completely!

There has been many occasions where life simply happens and I’ve had to readjust to the new swerve; but even with the inevitable happening you can choose how to positively receive that change as a growing pain and stamp it out as a life lesson. Life is a beautiful journey, but it’s only beautiful if you are willing to look at it from a beautiful positive stand point!

So here’s a few tips on how to kick that negative thought to the left to the left and be great on purpose!

1. When that negative thought downloads, hit pause! Ask yourself is there anyway this could simply be a learning experience/growing pain.
2. After coming to the conclusion that this thought is only a temporary feeling, refocus your mind on all that you have going on that’s POSITIVE!
3. Embrace that positive thought until you totally block out the negative
4. Smile…you have to not only tell yourself that you are kicking this negative thought out, but you have to feel it, you have to believe it, you have to receive it!

Congratulations! You have gained control of your thoughts, keep working at it, you can only get better!

 

“Love Yourself First Everyday…It’s not just a statement, it’s a Lyfestyle!” -BiancaLynnette

 

 

 

 

“10 Ways to improve your Singleness…While MARRIED”By: BiancaLynnette

 

I’m sure a lot of you are wondering, “How can I improve my singleness if I’m not single?”  Wellll…I’m so glad you asked! A lot of beautiful brides go into the Chapel and come out a whole different person; they become, “The Wife of…” and lose all traces of their natural identity.  After trying so hard to be the perfect wife to their new hubby, they find themselves unknowingly looking for completion in him, when completion only comes from God.

“God will complete -Your Incompletion”

Feeling like you’re the only one? Well don’t! According to Psychoanalyst Beverly Engel, author of “Loving Him Without Losing Yourself,” she calls it the Disappearing Woman. This my dear is what tends to happen when you have merged your life so much with your partner that you lose yourself; or lose your relationship from smothering. The false belief that you have to toss away all of your interest and passions to make marriage work is absurd. I truly believe that both lives can be blended beautifully!  Will it be easy?  Nothing in life that’s worth keeping is…however with dedication, prayer & balance it has been proven that you can keep your awesome marriage WITHOUT losing your authentic self.

So how do you Improve your singleness while being married? Check out these 10 awesome tips and get the improving!

#1. Get you some business!  There’s nothing more attractive than a woman that has her own thang going on. While respecting your bonding time, be sure to have a hobby or special interest of your own that you can enjoy as well.

#2. Practice self-love. It’s extremely hard for hubby to love you if you don’t know how to love yourself! And trust me, he will gain a new respect for you once he sees you targeting this tip!

#3. Stay on your “A” game…literally! Take up a class or learn a new language. Always welcome new opportunities to improve yourself; just be sure to keep a balance so that you are not adding too much to your plate…being overwhelmed is not the idea.

#4. Get your Reading game up! Yes reading! This is an awesome way to improve your singleness! Not only are you showing him that you have your own interest, you are stimulating your mind and practicing self-care.

#5. Get you some supportive girl friends!  Yes I know you guys have mutual friends now…cool; but get you some supportive good girlfriends that you know are not going to disrespect your marriage boundaries, but instead they can do life with you and encourage you when needed. You don’t want to pour all your vent mess into your hubby (after a while he’s gonna think you’re cray cray lol) So find you some awesome ladies to level up with!

#6. Try new things. Live a little! Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can’t have a passion for life!

#7. Keep yourself in shape! Stay active. Let him see you sweat a little. Especially if you were into fitness before marriage.

#8. Chase your dream!  God planted that dream in your gut for a reason not for a season. Include your spouse! Share your passion with him and welcome him into your World.

#9. Embrace your authentic self! Take time to journal and embrace who God created you to be. All of the little things that make you YOU; find joy in life and talk with your spouse about your new found likes and or dislikes.

#10. Be ok with alone time.  The more you get to know you, or rekindle that relationship with self, the more enjoyable alone time will be. There may be some times when your spouse has some things going on in his own singleness; you have to learn how to be ok with spending time with YOU!

 

Now remember ladies, all of these improvement tips require balance! I’m not advising you to isolate yourself in your marriage or cross any marriage boundaries; I simply don’t want you to lose your beautiful self in the making!  If you would like to talk more on this subject, schedule your one on one session today!

 

Article By: BiancaLynnette

Email: biancalynnette.lyfe@gmail.com

 

 

“Are you a Spokesperson for the past?”

How many of you know a good spokesperson for the past?  Or maybe you yourself are one! Remembering every detail down to the exact emotion, and you remember it so well that you are capable of performing a total reenactment! Being a Spokesperson for the past can get you either in two place; and that’s hurt or stuck!  It’s nothing wrong with remembering things that have come and gone, just be sure not to visit those places mentally nor emotionally. Finding yourself “stuck” can be dangerous: remember in order to grow you have to move forward, so going back into that place only stunts growth.
-BiancaLynnette
#SpeakLyfe

Don’t let the Blizzard give you the fall back Winter blues!

Yaaayyy!!! It’s the first real blizzard in 2016! Awesome sauce! Praying that everyone is safe and warm because we are expecting 3 days of white Christmas lol Now as you know, being stuck at home in the blizzard could be a good thing…but it could also get you Caught Up!  Yea I know you’re bundled all snuggly with the ones you love, you have your fireplace going and your hot cocoa all lined up, buuuuut you have to be careful with those bitter sweet moments of “Stuck in the house” bliss; because once you hit day two, getting Caught up is super easy to do!  Now, what do I mean by “Caught up”?  I’m glad you asked!  Being Caught up is another way of saying you’ve fallen into the Winter blues! Sitting in the house with too much idle time, eating everything in sight and not being productive (other than pressing the buttons on your remote).  We can NOT afford to fall into the Winter Blues people! Ok, Ok so because I know you would do the same for me, I’ll list some things you can do as alternatives…

1. Journaling: This is always therapeutic. Being snowed in for a few days should help you to release a lot of thoughts.  It’s always good to have a clear mind!
2. Exercise videos:  If you have cable, on demand has a lot of exercise, yoga and dance videos that will keep you on your toes and could be fun for the family.
3. Create a Vision board: Now that you have a moment of peace, focus on your goals and create a vision board as a tool to keep you on point.
4. Read: This is the perfect time to catch up on some reading. Kindle books are awesome, but there’s nothing like the crisp feel of the paper as you read through each awesome chapter!
5. Schedule Future Engagements: Take some time to reflect on all the things you have mentally planned for 2016 and put them on the schedule. (Family time, vacations, events, bills.)
6. Make a funny video or documentary: You’re not the only one that’s stuck inside with the “Winter Blues”, so why not make a few videos on how you and your family survived and put some funny moments in there. You never know, your video could end up on t.v.!
7. Get Paid:  Believe it or not there are a lot of online companies out there such as Google, Yahoo and a bunch of other vendors looking to pay you for some quick data entry work or editing work.
8. Spiritual Intake:  The Bible app has a lot of awesome bible plans that help to make you a better person, parent, friend and child of God.  Spending intimate time with the Father is ALWAYS good and therapeutic.
9. Reach Out: Days go by so quickly in this microwave World we live in where everything is go, go, go; we barely get time to really reach out to loved ones, extended family and friends.  Give someone a love call, just to see how they’re doing and let them know you’re thinking of them.  That one call could mean the World to them.  Remember, tomorrow isn’t promised!
10. Enjoy the ones you love:  While this may seem like the most common option, to some it’s the most vital.  Some of us very rarely get time to spend with our family due to our working schedules, school schedules or just the tussle of life itself. Take this time to play a few games such as “Get to know you” which is a game that gives everyone a chance to catch up on things about the other person like their favorite activity, things of interest etc.

Being stuck in the house doesn’t have to cause you to gain weight, fall off track or be bored out of your mind. There are so many things you can do to make your stay in productive!  If you need more ideas pinterest has awesome choices and feel free to contact me, I love dishing out fun things to do!-BiancaLynnette biancalynnette.lyfe@gmail.com

 

“Are You Dealing With Your Unfinished Business Or Nah..”

“Closing those open chapters of your life may not be easy, but if you’re expecting a clear view for the future, it’s absolutely necessary!” -BiancaLynnette

"Love Yourself First Everyday...It's not just a statement, it's a Lyfestyle!"-BiancaLynnette

Have you ever found yourself on your phone or your iPad just going from app to app and forgetting to close them out?  I know I have! I always seem to forget to clear my opened apps so I end up getting frustrated when my device shows an interruption notice because its unable to function while all of those things are running. Well take a moment and imagine how dysfunctional your life can be if you have too many “opened chapters” simultaneously…

Closure is one thing we all claim to have conquered but it isn’t until we receive that interruption notice mentally, physically and or emotionally that we realize we have too many opened doors.  Just like your electronic device it is very detrimental to keep clutter in your life; whether it be unfinished relationships, cluttering friendships or passed over issues that you just never dealt with…It’s not healthy, period! Deal…

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Serve your Purpose (Short thoughts)

We are all here to serve a purpose, to help someone grow from the trials & tribulations we’ve been brought out of. I think we are in a time where there’s a strong misunderstanding about that. When you come out of something, you are supposed to use that to inspire and help to save more lives. When you don’t follow that lead, you miss out on your blessing & you cause someone else to miss out on their breakthrough! There is someone somewhere who’s life depends on you serving your purpose; stop being casual about your assignment…stop holding up someone else’s destiny…LIVE On PURPOSE!

REVIEW – English Tea Shop "Slim Me" Tea Bags

Ok so I’m not normally a tea person, unless of course its super sweet tea (Lord knows I love that! Lol) However, my mother in law had this attractive box of tea and I felt so lead to try it! Needless to say this tea was some kind of good, even without sugar! Now that was major for me! Very seldom do you find a healthy tea that taste good. Well when I looked it up and realized it aids in weight loss…that was definitely the icing on the cake! (sugar free cake of course lol) Anywho, I just want to say this tea is awesome and if you’re looking for a tasty healthy slim tea, I would recommend you try English Tea Shop Slim Me Tea!